Grooms – “Into The Arms”
Sometimes I think people are gross. Completely gross. I’m not one of those anti-society, anti-humanity, anti-America people but it goes without saying that there are a lot of people whom kind of disgust me. As there should be.
Being a gross person isn’t a bad thing. If you ask me, gross people are the types that do well in school (my roommate Greg for example, is an engineering major and I find it gross that he wakes up religiously at 8am on Sundays to study for the next 8 hours.) Gross people are the types with good jobs (Doctors disgust me; ‘Oh hey Dr. Jones can you come in at 4 in the morning for this heart transplant? I know your wife just had a baby but we have no one else’) and really bad jobs (Oh hey there Journalism majors! 10 hour days for 20K a year! Same goes to you construction workers, factory workers and poorly paid blue-collar Americans!)
Maybe my own mind has skewed my perception (OK, my own perception on things has been pretty fucked for years) but gross people tend to be the types that can commit to a cause and stick with it. For that I commend them. I could never do the shit that they do, and for that reason they’re probably grotesque in my eyes. Maybe I’m jealous of them. Actually, I probably am. Fair enough. I’ll never go to Med or Law school. When I’m married my wife should expect me to go out on weekends with my buddies. When my mother, best friend, or whomever dies, I may cry for a day. No more than that. I can’t imagine crying over someone a few days after the fact. That’s just not who I am.
But does my sheer lack of commitment mean I’ll never date? I have 3 other friends like myself…single forever. It’s not a bad thing. We kind of set ourselves up this way. One of my friends goes out every few weekends, makes out with a few guys, maybe even half a dozen on a good night and then drunk texts and calls until she passes out. She deletes her texts the next morning for fear of what she might have said, and keeps it moving. She’s bubbly, and nice, funny and a bit egotistical, loud and a bit obnoxious but can’t understand why no guy will date her (oh, did I mention that she’s smart as shit? She has a 3.9 GPA.) It’s been so long that she feels like she has to wait it out for the right guy, but will the right guy come when she’s making an ass of herself every few weekends? Probably not.
Yet, I kind of understand her dilemma. I’m not going to date just to say I’m doing it. Fuck that. I did that when I was younger and I cheated. That’s a waste of your time, and mine.
Maybe I should be gross though. My roommate was in a relationship for three years. He broke up with his girl, and was single for a month. He was miserable. We’d go out hunting and we’d delete his ex-girlfriend’s number. He’d find a way to get it back and text her by the end of the night. He met a new girl and they were together for a week or so….but he ended up back with his ex. They’re together and I sense the relationship is stronger than ever. He’s crazy for her. He should be.
Some people may see his situation as a bit pathetic. What, you couldn’t hunt for girls without texting your ex-girlfriend? Maybe it is. But the amount of dedication he has to his girl is fucking admirable. You have to respect it. I do.
I can sit here, and say I’m non-committal but as I typed this I’m realizing that maybe I’m just committed to certain things. I’m committed to writing. I love writing. I’m committed to my friends and the people I love (though if they die I’d shed tears for a day and keep it moving? I’m not really sure what that says about me.) I’m committed to staying up-to-date on music. I’m committed to going out and getting hammered on weekends with my friends (herein may lie the problem!) Outside of those what do I really love? My priorities are clearly not in order. I’ll take my music over love. I’ll take writing this over volunteering. But I’m 22. I’m young. Maybe my priorities are right where the should be. What’s the point of having your priorities in order at the age of 22 anyways?