Beginning Of The End

The Weeknd -“Life Of The Party”

Last Tuesday marked the beginning of the end.

I awoke at 645 in the morning to go out and pick up my refund check. Had breakfast. 5 cups of coffee throughout the day. Half a pack of cigarettes. Probably got a tan.

The coffee and cigarettes marked the makings of a good day. The waking up at 645 marked the beginning of the end.

The last first day for me, in what will conclude the best five years of my life. I’m a super senior this year. It’s kind of embarrassing….and a bit encouraging. So many of my friends who graduated the Spring of ’11 seem so miserable. They tell me about how they go to bed at 9 or 10 PM. How stressed they are. How they’re up at 7am. How the pay isn’t worth it. They sound miserable. Not to mention, I see so many of my graduated friends coming back to school….maybe clinging on to something that’s now gone [college life.] Graduating, the real world….this shit looks like it sucks. Dick. A lot of it.

For that, I’m glad that I didn’t graduate this past Spring. But in the same sense, I’m sad that the timetable for my ‘real world’ experience is so damn soon. There’s so much I want to do. Still. I’ve done a lot too. A lot more than most of my friends. Most nights I’ll say and do some of the wildest shit. I have friends whom have admitted to wasting years of their college experience. I feel sorry for them.

I could never give up a night to party. A night to be with people. A chance to find whatever my destiny is, or for it to find me. I’ll never know if I stay inside. I know it sounds corny. Destiny. Why the hell should I believe in that shit?

The simple answer to my indifference to graduation is this: do everything you possibly wanted to do so that you can finish college with little to no regrets. Have as few things as possible on your wish list when you leave. That sounds easy….in theory. In reality, will I ever be able to study abroad in France, or Greece, or Great Britian? Probably not. Financially, I simply cannot afford to drop so much money on another semester of school. Hell, I don’t have the spending money for it. In reality, will I ever be able to rewind the past few years and make sure I go on major spring break vacations? Hell no.

I regret missing certain parties. I regret situations with certain women. I regret situations with friends. Things I’ve fucked up. Things they’ve fucked up. Things I simply put too much time and effort into. But I know I’ve done a lot. That in itself should be enough. And it is. More so than anything, I’m just distraught that it’s all coming to a close. Oh, if only I could stay in college.

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About realmikeclark

23-year old Journalism & Psychology graduate of the University of Connecticut.
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